Les enfants du parody

The Eurovision Song Contest, eh? You couldn't make it up - and, sadly, you don't have to.

Every year since 1956 young singers - and some frankly old enough to know better - have been participating in this pan-European event, which now (go figure) includes Israel and Australia. From this it must already be apparent that there's an identity crisis in play but the assertion of its organisers that the contest is apolitical is ludicrously disingenuous, and always has been.

But it's just a bit of lighthearted fun, I hear you cry. Well, the founding intentions of the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) in the post-war Europe of 1956, with many European nations languishing behind the 'Iron Curtain' of the Soviet Union, including East Germany, were certainly worthy enough but its conception in those circumstances was also, ipso facto, political. 

Nothing in the intervening years has lessened its politicisation and last year's contest was a clear example of that, when Liverpool staged the contest that was due to have been hosted by Ukraine but was deemed unsafe because of the ongoing invasion by Russia, itself barred by the EBU from participating in 2022 due to the invasion. Ukraine went on to win the contest. Nothing political?

This year's event in Malmö, Sweden, was itself overshadowed by Israel's invasion of Gaza but, unlike Russia, Israel was allowed to participate, being asked only to change the title of its entry from 'October Rain' (a reference to Hamas' 7th October massacre and kidnapping) to 'Hurricane'. It even looked at one point as if Israel might win the song contest as the popular votes came in but, luckily for the EBU, Switzerland came to the rescue. Cynics might think that a neutral country holding much of the world's wealth was a safe bet. I couldn't possibly comment.

But, apart from that, Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the show? Well, call me an old fogey, but I find the narcissistic posturing of today's youth, with all its personal pronouns and cosplay, increasingly tedious. The Eurovision Song Contest has become a showcase for this par excellence, or is that subpar? Of course, youth should be a time to express oneself and irritate, if not infuriate, one's elders - and (excuse alert) I accept they've been through a pandemic, but at least they survived it, unlike many. So what's their excuse? 

In truth, I guess they don't need one. Youthful exuberance will out and what better platform for that than a live music show broadcast to 200 million viewers where one can cross-dress (Switzerland), appear virtually naked (Finland), or cavort with the devil (Ireland), with every stage of pantomimic excess in between, on primetime TV or online worldwide and be fêted for it?

The UK's entry was actually a passable song but what made Olly Alexander think he was likely to swing the popular vote, now extended to a 'rest of the world' category, by performing oral sex with his radio mic and a semi-naked male dancer is known only to him and his choreographer. I'm sure it went down a storm in Sub-Saharan Africa, Olly. Hence nul points from tout le monde.

Perhaps he was with Janis Joplin on this one; fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. Except, with everything else that's going on in the world right now, including in Europe, the joke's on us. This sort of frivolity and vulgarity looks increasingly out-of-touch and desperate, even, dare I say, decadent? I'm not convinced the Weimar Republic is a model we should be seeking to celebrate right now.

It didn't end well.

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