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Dear Andy - political sketch

We hear a lot about dashboards these days but, in the political context, it's perhaps worth remembering the word's original meaning It derives from the physical board attached to the front of a horse-drawn carriage to block mud and debris ('the dash' kicked up by the horses' hooves) from hitting passengers. Maybe you should ponder this fact as your civil servants analyse the data for you in real time. In other words, you'll need to develop a canny strategy for avoiding the shit when it inevitably flies and make sure it doesn't stick to you. But I'm sure you knew that anyway. So, as you prepare for your coronation I append my advice to consider in the short time available to you before assuming the mantle of the highest office of state. I know Oscar Wilde observed that the only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on but, unfortunately for you, there's no-one you can pass it in to - the buck stops with you from hereon in. Luckily, you won't ...

Next!

So what the heck was the last two years all about and what follows now? Seven Prime Ministers in ten years is not a good look for any country and, to my mind, speaks not just to the governability but the viability of the United Kingdom as a political entity going forward. It's a question I've raised many times before but today I'd just like to focus on where we are now that Keir Starmer is going and Andy Burnham is about to be sworn in as an MP in the House of Commons. Like millions of other Brits, I suspect, I voted Labour at the General Election twenty-three months ago simply to get rid of the Tories. I wasn't expecting much and, in that, I wasn't to be disappointed. However, I certainly wasn't expecting to have my winter fuel payment withdrawn or to experience the problems I have had with Universal Credit since Labour came to power which I never had under the Tories. The bar of expectation was set very low and yet, even so, Labour under Starmer managed to lim...

Something for the weekend

It's going to be an uncomfortable weekend for the Starmer family, and not just due to the returning heatwave. In the immediate aftermath of Andy Burnham's historic Makerfield by-election victory, the heat now is of the political rather than meteorological variety and, in politics, as the adage has it, if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. This weekend break, with all the key combatants tired and frazzled, offers a welcome pause for reflection. If Starmer and his wife, Victoria, are at the PM's official country retreat of Chequers, what better opportunity to contemplate their future than the rural calm of Buckinghamshire and the discreet comfort of an English country house weekend. Of course, contemplating the loss of this extraordinary perk of office might make it even more difficult to throw in the towel but all good things must come to an end - in politics usually much sooner and more unexpectedly than in other walks of life - and Starmer's time as ...

Let slip the dogs of war

In my piece yesterday I wrote about putting the UK on a war footing, only to awaken this morning to news that the opening salvo may just have been fired. I refer to the overnight boarding by Royal Marine Commandos of the Russian shadow fleet oil tanker, Smyrtos, in the English Channel, to my mind not before time. Such vessels (estimated to be 700 worldwide) are responsible for carrying 75% of Russia's sanctioned oil, providing a critical lifeline for the Kremlin according to the Ministry of Defence (MoD). This UK naval operation was enabled by the United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea (UNCLOS) and, besides, it's worth bearing in mind that there are no international waters in the Strait of Dover, where the Channel is so narrow that it is shared equally between the UK and France, with no international waters in between. Not that there is any legal impediment to such an operation in international waters, simply that the nature of the Channel makes it easier - and far mor...

Marching as to war

After yesterday's piece, here's another bit of unsolicited advice I'm happy to share gratis  with the new Labour PM when he takes power: put the UK on a war footing. I mean de facto rather than de jure, of course ;  I'm not suggesting we declare war on Russia, which would be suicidal, merely acknowledging honestly the realpolitik of the situation we currently find ourselves in as a nation. With Russia pushing at the eastern borders of Europe, attacking an ally, Ukraine, in a hot war while testing our resolve nearer home by flagrantly encroaching into our airspace and territorial waters, it is clearly testing our resolve. And by poisoning its own citizens on UK soil, attempting to sever undersea cables and pipelines and allegedly interfering in our elections, sowing mis- and disinformation via our press and social media while initiating cyber attacks against our institutions and arson attacks on our Prime Minister's family, it is acting as a rogue state. To deny th...

Follow the money

When Sir Keir Starmer finally stands down as Prime Minister of the UK - and please let it be soon - I have some advice for his successor. Of course, it won't be seen, and wouldn't be heeded if it were, but I make it in all seriousness, nevertheless: don't rush to appoint a new Chancellor of the Exchequer to your cabinet, consider instead abolishing it, or at least temporarily suspending it while reimagining it. It is painfully apparent that the relationship between the Prime Minister and Chancellor has always been, and under the status quo will always be, one of tension - and usually not a creative one. The two main 'great offices of state', based uncomfortably next door to each other at numbers 10 and 11 Downing Street, have different agendas which are bound to clash - the Prime Minister always wanting to spend more on pet projects and the Chancellor, the holder of the purse strings, determined to resist or curb such impulses.  Disharmony is designed into the ver...

Othering

Ghanaian migrants are being forced to return to their home country following protests against illegal immigration in their adopted one.. No, not here in the UK - although it can only be a matter of time* - but in South Africa. So what are we to make of such African-on-African xenophobia and what lessons, if any,  can be drawn from it? Europeans might like to think of it as tribalism, remembering the horrors of the Rwandan Tutsi genocide whilst conveniently forgetting the role of the colonial powers (in this case Belgium) in promoting it. I suspect, though, that this tendency may be universal. For starters, it shows that resentment against migrants is not intrinsically race-based. Fear of strangers and the ostracism of outsiders seems to be a common human response, heightened by obvious signifiers of 'foreigness' such as skin colour, language, or dress codes and symbols specifying particular religious allegiance. It also appears to be exacerbated by numbers of migrants (perceive...