A storm in a teacup

There are some problems that only afflict the middle classes, and I've just discovered one of them.

My favourite tea is lapsang suchong (it was Churchill's too, apparently, not that that's much of a recommendation) but it's becoming increasingly difficult to source these days. I assumed this was simply a matter of changing tastes leaving me in a generational cul-de-sac once again. But, no, I should have known that it all comes down to money.

I'd never stopped to consider the origins of the blend, life being too short to read tea packets. Originally China, obviously, but nowadays I assumed the leaves were smoked (or smoke-flavoured) closer to home. How wrong can one be? It seems they are still picked and smoked over red pine embers in the Wuji Mountans of Fujian Province and exported to the West. (Who knew? - not me, obviously.) Hence, cost has suddenly become an issue again, as it was in the 18th century, of course, which is why tea caddies had locks and the chatelaine kept the key about her person.

In seeking to address this current price hike, the famous, long-established English tea company, Twinings, recently discontinued its offer in favour of a cheaper version of its own called 'Distinctively Smoky'. This has proved to be a big marketing mistake, prompting howls of protest from lapsang fans like Melanie McDonagh of the London Evening Standard, who wrote a scathing piece calling it a "travesty". And she was not alone, with reviews such as "stale cigarettes", "horrid" and "absolutely disgusting" appearing in the Independent and Daily Mail - in the latter under the heading 'What a brew-haha'!

Lapsang (unsurprisingly perhaps) is not easy to source in the East End of London, not being the go-to 'Rosie' in this neighbourhood, despite its recent gentrification. I get mine from Waitrose in the City, making a special pilgrimage using my Freedom Pass (sorry, Sadiq). Imagine my delight, therefore, in spotting Twinings' Distinctively Smoky on the shelf in my local Sainsbury's. I wish I'd read the reviews before buying though. After my first teabag I threw the rest away in disgust and considered writing to Twinings but then thought it was simply a matter of personal taste - caveat emptor. However, after reading the reviews I did so and received an immediate response from the beleaguered company offering me vouchers which, while welcome, certainly won't be used on any more of its Distinctively Smoky (sic) brand.

But, really, if this is all we superannuated 'chattering classes' have to worry about things can't be that bad. The trouble is, of course, it isn't and they are - very bad indeed - but in my own defence I must point to my piece yesterday about my involvement in the XR campaign to halt further global warming. I don't sit around in my retirement ivory tower sipping tea all day. 

However, this controversy does highlight, in microcosm, the devastating impact globalisation is now having on the global climate. The production and transportation of cash crops such as tea, coffee, sugar, cotton, tobacco, cocoa etc in and from the Global South to satisfy markets in the Global North forms a large part of the climate emergency we all now face and which I don't want to see unfold any further.

Not for all the tea in China.


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