Some talk of Alexander
And that's just the way Alexander Boris de Pfefel Johnson likes it. He'd rather be deplored than ignored (I'm sure he'd be able to rustle up a neat Greek or Latin aphorism to underscore the point) so today's long-anticipated televised appearance before the Commons Committee of Privileges to answer charges of misleading parliament must have come as a welcome release from the rustication of his new backbench existence.
Where other less egomaniacal MPs would have found this ignominious situation shameful, Johnson (who doesn't do shame), seemed, rather, to relish the attention. He had obviously come well-briefed - for £222,000 of Legal Aid and all this time to prepare one would hope so - and was bullish and completely unapologetic throughout. He was once again the centre of attention, for good or ill, and determined to milk it for every last drop of self-publicity.
Someone had obviously taken the trouble to run a brush through his normally tousled blond mop and knot his tie neatly but this sartorial effort was not enough to impress the committee. Harriet Harman KC MP (Lab), chairing, had apparently borrowed one of Theresa May's chunky chain necklaces for the occasion and looked suitably magisterial in it. (At moments she also looked as if she might like to set about him with it.)
Johnson opened with a self-justificatory statement, abruptly interrupted by the division bell which meant an adjournment to vote - once again making the case for electronic voting. The vote happened to be for Rishi Sunak's new Northern Ireland 'Windsor framework' proposal, which passed with only twenty-two dissenters, including one Boris Johnson. To see himself and his Northern Ireland Protocol so comprehensively eclipsed by his successor must have been butter gall for Johnson, serving as a brutal reminder of precisely how far his stock has fallen in the parliamentary Conservative Party he only so recently lorded it over in his pomp. Sic transit gloria mundi.
As his interrogation recommenced after this reversal, Johnson became ever-more tetchy and exasperated. The questioning from committee members was hardly friendly, and they included four of his Tory colleagues. Sir Bernard Jenkin MP (Con) opened and was more than usually peevish - though not wthout good cause in this instance. As the interrogation proceeded Johnson became flustered and querulous, barely bothering to conceal his annoyance. He must have been schooled by his legal team to stay cool and controlled but he lost it almost from the off - to the evident despair of Lord Pannick, sitting behind him and thus out of his eyesight, but in ours. Johnson made it abundantly clear that he bitterly resented being dragged before this star chamber and was determined to fight, dirty if need be, for his political life.
Because, indeed, that's what this hearing amounted to. Okay, so a House of Commons Privileges Committee hearing is hardly the trial of Charles I or Warren Hastings but it has been many years since the Palace of Westinster has witnessed a quasi-judicial examination of this scale and magnitude. Occasionally it was possible to discern in Johnson's demeanour flashes of realisation that he really was staring into the abyss. His supreme self-confidence, though, won through in the end - that's what an expensive public school education buys you, after all. He got through the ordeal bloodied but unbowed - that's what an expensive legal team buys you, after all.
Whether democracy has been well-served by this process is another matter. It felt rather as if his moment had passed. If a week is a long time in politics, ten months is an eternity and today's hearing has been rather overtaken by events. Johnson is clearly yesterday's man and has been languishing in well-deserved obscurity, forgotten if not gone, until this moment. Now, he has been propelled back into the limelight, where he loves to be.
Sir Keir Starmer may be wondering if his Commons victory in securing this parliamentary inquiry wasnt Pyrrhic. In retrospect it might have been better to let this particular sleeping dog lie, especially when he's so good at it. He might also want to ponder the wisdom of announcing Sue Gray's appointment as his new Chief of Staff just before Johnson's long-awaited hearing. If ever there was a hostage to fortune, this was surely it. One might expect a more savvy approach from the man who would be PM. The outcome of the next general election is not so inevitable that he can afford such elementary gaffes. Not when Labour's electoral history is strewn with self-inflicted defeats.
Admittedly, if the committee finds against Johnson, it could lead to him losing his Commons seat (not that Uxbridge sees much of him anyway), but if that does happen it could net Johnson a fortune (or an even bigger one) in memoir rights and appearance fees. In Johnson's book there's no such thing as bad publicity.
Win or lose, for him it's all win-win.